When I need to remind myself how to behave, I look to Jane–Jane Austen–and ask What Would Jane Do?
The men in my life are rolling their eyes…let’s give them a moment.
*****
The truth is, no one pokes more fun at ill-behaved people like Jane. Her books are brimming with examples of how not to be. So what if she lived over a hundred years ago…poor behavior is universal and timeless and she’s got it dialed down regardless of the century. There are things to be learned from Jane.
All of Jane’s heroines are sufficiently naughty and daring to give contrast and set, in the end, the proper example. But when I need an attitude overhaul I look to Emma–because Jane lets Emma go too far: she is cruel to Miss Bates. I remember the first time I read Emma and came to this part–I felt all was off in my universe. [Ya…didn’t have much of a life] And at the same time felt exposed. I still do. Most people think of the perfect comeback an hour after the moment.
Not me.
When my patience is stretched to the snapping point, I can deliver a searing reply with acute timing…and it’s usually not pretty. Some may wish they had this “gift”–you don’t. Because then you immediately have moments like this.
A moment where you’ve disappointed those who’s respect you cherish. A moment where, as Mr. Knightley puts it, others could be guided by your treatment. But instead you are just another example of poor behavior.
I don’t want to be this, and yet I so often find my well of emotional generosity dry. We all have our own ways to fill our wells; Jane is always good for me. Yes, she gives a good portion of what not to do, but gives in equal measure a clear view of behavior that is beautiful and generous and elevating. It’s where I go when I feel myself ready to “Pull an Emma.”